Usually people feel motivated to create resolutions during January. Typically these resolutions involve some form of self-betterment. These resolutions can vary from improving one’s eating habits, or increasing exercise to utilizing a journal or adding meditation or relaxation to one’s routine. These are all great things to think about as the new year begins. As we are now in or nearing the end of our second month of the year, I am hoping you still have the momentum and drive you had in January!
This month, I would like to challenge you to consider the betterment of your relationships with others. In February, some choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day, a holiday that devotes a lot of focus on our relationships. Valentine’s Day tends to emphasize our romantic relationships. I won’t bore you with the history of Valentine’s Day, but most of the stories that Valentine’s Day are attributed to involve romantic love. In spite of the holiday’s emphasis on romance, I’d like to challenge you to consider all of your relationships – romantic, casual, friendship, family, and professional – and create a “Relationship Resolution.” Do an evaluation of any relationship and resolve to do something different with that relationship. Because we are a part of many different relationships, you will exhaust yourself trying to evaluate all of them. I suggest choosing one relationship to give some careful thought to.
Evaluating our relationships is not something we need to be doing all of the time, but is definitely something worth doing every once in a while. All healthy relationships go through ups and downs, and will require more support of one or the other person at times. There will be moments in a relationship when one person questions the relationship all together. Some of these challenging instances can actually benefit the relationship, and help it to develop and grow with the individuals in said relationship.
Below are some questions to assist you in reflecting on any relationship:
- Does this relationship lift you up?
- Is this relationship encouraging, invigorating or enjoyable?
- What needs is this relationship fulfilling for me?
- Do I feel appreciated and connected to this person?
- Does the time invested in this relationship feel worthwhile?
- Does this relationship provide me with opportunities for mental, emotional or spiritual growth?
- What emotions do you feel before, during and after spending time with this person?
These are extremely challenging questions that will produce answers that can be potentially difficult to digest. As previously mentioned relationships will go through periods where one person is doing all the giving and not receiving as much, and vice versa. Relationships differ as much as we do as individuals. Ending a relationship is not the only solution if you are not feeling satisfied and/or fulfilled. Perhaps it is a matter of addressing your concerns with the other person, or better communicating your needs. Maybe new rules should be established, however, that takes a great deal of work from both parties. It’s possible that you need to establish your boundaries for you to feel more comfortable with the relationship. Ending the relationship may be the healthiest choice for you, but consider that this relationship was valuable to you at one time. I never said your “Relationship Resolution” would be simple, but hopefully it will be worthwhile.
Sources:
https://www.britannica.com/topic/Valentines-Day
https://www.thewellnessuniverse.com/2017/02/22/evaluating-your-relationships/
http://www.lifecoachexpert.co.uk/friendship-saving-or-halting.html